Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
