I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
