God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
