under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
