You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
