I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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