Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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