She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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