Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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