it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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