Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
if only i could text you this smell
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
