He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you didnt know i had herpes?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
