At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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