Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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