It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
