In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I believe in your delicious
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
