i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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