We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
