she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
