You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
