I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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