So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
