So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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