i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
