do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
