I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
