you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
