Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
