So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
