i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
