ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
