one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
