Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
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Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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