Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Too much gin, very little bucket
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it glows. i had to have it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
