Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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