More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
