I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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