i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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