We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
