I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
