Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
