Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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