just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pee on everything he values.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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