Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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