Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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