Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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