Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
