I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
