I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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