So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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