why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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