Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
