I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
