got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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