Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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