AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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