I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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