the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
