shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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