it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
