If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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