I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize