i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
